


For The Very First

by Commoncoral



Series: An Untold Story [3]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime, Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Fluff, Guilt, Hugging, Identity Issues, M/M, Optimus has anxiety, Post-War, Reunions, The ending I wanted for rid15, hand holding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:14:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22143148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Commoncoral/pseuds/Commoncoral
Summary: When Optimus has been revived, he wonders if he should chase down Megatron even if he's been missing for many cycles with no trace of him. Optimus also wonders if he is still the same mech that Megatron loves.Megatron lives in guilt as he becomes only a rumour that has been in exile for a long time. He thinks back to how things could have gone better for him.Au where the matrix holdbacks Optimus emotions.
Relationships: Megatron/Optimus Prime
Series: An Untold Story [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1510322
Comments: 6
Kudos: 90
Collections: MegOP Week 2020





	For The Very First

**Author's Note:**

> Well here's the finale of my own series! I planned to have this finished for the first day of Megop week 2020 buut man life does get in the way haha. I hope you guys enjoy this! I also didn't proofread this one a lot so apologies for any grammar mistakes.

The last time Megatron saw Optimus was when he sacrificed himself to revive Cybertron. He recalled seeing an unreadable expression that both were determined and sad, he also felt quiet recognition when Optimus let go of all his emotions that the matrix held behind. They both silently said goodbye properly for the last time. He watched as Optimus fell and sacrificed himself to the well of allsparks.

So this was how their story ended.

Now Megatron lives in exile with all the guilt he has. He knew he deserved all of it. He was such a fool.

It drove him crazy when he finally realized that his Orion, or rather Optimus rejected him. He almost refused to accept that Optimus is Orion pax, so in Megatron's mind driven to an edge, he decided that he'll keep Orion in his memories and if he couldn't have him, then he'll be the one to kill him. He wasn't thinking at all, he just wanted to fight against the person who took away his happiness from him.

When Megatron got stabbed by Bumblebee, right before he died, he saw that look in Optimus optics as he showed his emotion to tell him a single feeling. Even now, all this time Optimus had hope that Megatron would change his ways. The broken look in his optics in the realization that told him that it was all too late now.

Being dead can change a lot in perspective, especially with regrets. Death was nothing but an abyss of unknowing rest. When he woke up to see that he was a mere puppet for Unicron, he wanted to die again. But Megatron knew that a peaceful death was impossible for mechs like him. He deserved it.

His frame was changed to resemble Unicron, his mind invaded, and actions were all in control of him. Along the way, he finally realized under some introspection and having his whole view changed from his death, he knew that he should have mended his relationship with Optimus when Cybertron fell. The prime was waiting and hoping that there'd be peace amongst them but Megatron just had to crush all of the pieces of anything that the Autobots were.

He had been a monster. He was no different then the council he used to fight against.

He felt disgusted looking at himself. He looked like the person who oppressed him. Although that's what he deserves.

Megatron wandered throughout the galaxy for many stellar cycles in exile and kept himself away from any contact as possible. Some bots would seek him out without knowing who he was to his surprise, challenged him to duel to claim the title of the greatest warrior in the galaxy. All because of a rumour that he held great power. None has been able to defeat him so far, he usually left them unconscious and fled somewhere else.

He found himself on a desolate planet with craters made from giant chunks of ice crashing in the ground all over, with some smaller one melted and became small ponds that Megatron would avoid staring at to not look at his reflection. He had a lot of time to think as he stared at the black skies of space.

Often times he had nightmares, though the one that haunted him the most were centred around Optimus. Orion pax would cry as he called Megatron a monster.

"You never loved me." He said.

"You only loved that I was easy to control." His face was filled with anger.

"You lashed out against me when I tried to speak my mind." The anger in his face falls into a sad one.

"Orion... that isn't true." Megatron said.

"Orion Pax, Optimus Prime. Just who am I to you? I'm just two different mechs aren't I?"

Orion would fall on his knees as a dent appeared around his neck cables, the same dent that Megatron gave him on the day of the council meeting.

"Did you ever really cared about me?" As more tears fell from his optics. Megatron would try to reach out for him but he couldn't.

"Optimus please, I'm sorry!" He tries to say but nothing comes out. Of course he loves Optimus, he has never stopped. He once heard a saying that time envelops all love and pain, that it'll all fade away in the end, but here he is, still wishing to say things he never said to Optimus when he was alive.

He hated those nightmares, sometimes Megatron caught himself crying after he woke up. Somewhere down the line, both being lovers changed so drastically. He felt like a monster.

He once wished to spend every day loving him in peace without worrying about anyone judging what caste or function they were from, he used to wish to embrace and hear his lover talking to him while laughing at his own jokes. Megatron wasn't sure when all those dream became him fantasizing about wanting to see Optimus begging for his mercy as he would have his servo around his spark in a tight grip, threatening to crush it.

His spark felt all clenched up when he murmured to himself, "I don't deserve you Optimus."

**_____**

After Optimus was trained and revived by the thirteen primes, he found that the matrix was removed from his body and he was still in the same body of when his frame been upgraded. That meant all of his emotions were uncontrolled by the matrix.

Defeating the fallen prime Megatronous with Bumblebee on earth only brought him thinking about a mech he still loved all this time.

"Optimus? Are you alright?" Bumblebee noticed how different the prime was after he was revived. He was more expressive and seemed gloomy whenever he stared at the sky.

Optimus seemed a bit out of place in this time. Bumblebee looked so different from the young scout he remembered. A long-time has passed by without him when he died. Talking to Bumblebee was difficult since he didn't know whether to put on his strong front as a leader.

"Ratchet told us about how the matrix worked for you." Optimus was glad that he didn't have to go through the process of explaining.

"...Do you know what happened to Megatron after I died?"

"No, nobody heard from him since. Even Decepticons don't know where he is."

"I see."

Optimus didn't want to say he wanted to find Megatron. He knows how much pain Bumblebee felt when his voice was ripped away from him. Bumblebee would be angry if he knew.

"How is Cybertron? What did you do there before arriving on earth?" Optimus said, curious and wanting to steer the conversation somewhere else.

"Well, everything is normal at least from what I think it is?" Bumblebee grew up during the war so he didn't know exactly was a normal society.

"Also I'm not sure how and why but the council assigned me to a cop job."

Optimus became wary as soon as he heard the word council. Perhaps he might have to check up on Cybertron himself. He also had to find Ratchet, he missed his old friend.

Finding Ratchet wasn't hard as he found him on earth surprisingly, finding and hunting down Decepticons. Optimus noticed and was glad by how much energetic the medic was, he was glad Ratchet has been able to keep himself fueled unlike when he used to keep himself underfed back then.

Ratchet was happy as well when he saw his friend alive, healthy, and not having his emotions blocked by the matrix. He found out pretty quickly by the way Optimus smiled so genuinely when they met again. They have been friends for a long time, he could immediately that Optimus was himself again.

A question appeared in Optimus processor as he conversed with Ratchet, catching up on what has happened since time passed.

"Why are you here on earth Ratchet?"

"Ah well, I was about to get to that. As much as I grew to like this planet all those cycles ago, the council seems to keep sending places to hunt down Decepticons. I'm a medic for primus sake! Do I look like a bounty hunter!?"

Optimus prime laughed and Ratchet noticed how it was the first time he ever did that. Primes don't party, as Arcee said. Even Bumblebee standing in the distance overheard his laugh and was in shock.

"...Uh-back on topic, the council has been sending those who fought in the war off-planet, basically blacklisting them, saying you were one who caused Cybertron to fall. I tried to look into it, but I can't. Although you could do something Optimus, you have the political power of a prime."

"I'm not a prime anymore, the matrix is gone," Optimus replied in uncertainty if he was still fit to be a leader.

"The council doesn't know that and you are still our leader. At the beginning of the war, you rejected the matrix holding back your emotions and guilt."

Optimus looked away, still feeling guilty, and thinking how he succumbed to it eventually.

"It became hard for you to handle, and you did let it control you. But you were still you, Optimus. All those times where you looked out for all of us, said you were proud and made all the difficult decisions. Tell me why I shouldn't call you a leader still, or our prime?"

Optimus felt a little less lost in this world when Ratchet told him that. He wasn't exactly young and naive like Orion pax anymore, neither was he the stoic and emotionless Prime he was back then. But he was still himself, he was still Optimus.

"You knew me as someone else back then, Optimus. I know I became much more grumpy as the war continued. I'm still Ratchet, however."

Optimus laughed softly. He was glad that he had his friend here to advise him. He still had a question left.

"Ratchet, I must ask you something." Optimus tone became a bit more serious.

"Yes, what is it?"

"I wish to find Megatron."

Ratchet became silent for a bit. The last he has seen of him was when he said that the Decepticons were no more and went into exile.

"...I won't stop you if you do go after him. I can't help you since there has been no trace of him since." Ratchet replied.

Megatron is the one last loose strand that Optimus wants to resolve. He just needed Ratchet's approval if it was okay to find the former warlord as he was unsure if it was the right thing to do.

"I find Megatron myself. First, it seems like I'll have to visit Cybertron. I still have fears about the new council." Optimus said.

"The newer generation didn't get how paranoid I was, hearing about a 'reformed and better' council. Never even bothering to learn what was Cybertron pre-war." Ratchet replied in exasperation. Optimus had to keep in mind to pitch in ideas to the Cybertron school curriculum.

After a few days on earth with Bumblebee, he had to leave with Ratchet to go back to Cybertron. Before leaving, he told Bumblebee something he has seen over the course of capturing Decepticons together.

"I'm proud of you Bumblebee, you have been a great leader to your team, you've been open and can so communicate freely with your teammates unlike myself back then. Having your friends all around you is something you should continue to treasure."

Bumblebee has never felt so complimented right now, his insecurities about not living up to being a leader like Optimus faded away at this moment.

"O-Optimus, you shouldn't talk down about yourself like that! You've been a great teacher to me and you sacrificed so much to protect all of us!" As flattered as he was, he couldn't let Optimus feel guilty about the past. Yes, Optimus Prime was a difficult person to connect with and talk to, but he cared so much about the people and world around him.

Optimus smiled at Bumblebee as he said goodbye before he left earth. On his way to Cybertron on Ratchet ship, he often looked out to space, asking himself so many questions.

_"Why I'm I still alive?"_

_"Why did I have to be revived?"_

_"Why do I want to find Megatron? I'm not Orion Pax, it's not me he loves."_

_"Just who am I? I don't know who I am anymore."_

Optimus, ever since he received the matrix and allowed himself to devote his entire being of saving Cybertron and everyone he cared about, he ignored listening to anything else inside his processor and spark. All those hurt feelings from being rejected and attacked from Megatronus, the guilt of fighting in a war, every single thing that Optimus didn't feel when he had the matrix was affecting him now.

Although he had all his memories of being a prime, there was one memory file that was recently unlocked in his processor, waiting to be opened. He feared what lost memories was inside there.

When he eventually succumbed to having all his emotions gone, he lost himself, and now he's here with no idea what he was exactly.

" _Even now_ _I_ _still love you."_

That's all he could feel. He remembered how Megatron looked at him when he was headed for his death. It was like he finally saw him for the first time.

_"Why do_ _I_ _still love you?"_

_"Where_ _are_ _you..."_

**_____**

The shocked faces of cybertronians when he returned to Cybertron were not a surprise to Optimus, although the many stares made him slightly nervous. He never got used to his fear of public speaking.

The council gave a rather lukewarm welcome to Optimus, they almost seemed scared of him or annoyed. Optimus questioned further about the current state of an Autobot Cybertron and the Decepticons.

"I don't think Autobot criminals should be labelled as Decepticons if they made a mistake. The war is over."

"Autobot criminals are more likely to defect after committing a crime, labelling them as Decepticons makes them easier to identify if they ever escape from prison." One of the council members spoke.

"Can't you rehabilitate the prisoners? Only isolating the prisoners further will increase the Decepticons numbers." It seemed like almost anyone who made mistakes was punished severely. Grimlock on Bumblebee's team used to be a Decepticon criminal for only property destruction, he wasn't intentionally trying to harm anyone. It didn't even seem like he wanted to be Decepticon in the first place.

Another council member argued back."And risk civilians being at harm? You are too idealistic to believe that all criminals can change."

"I've seen Decepticons who are willing to change for the better, as long as we give those who were jailed a chance-"

"We'll consider it." Another one said, most likely to avoid a larger argument. Optimus was afraid of what was truly the state of this Autobot society.

The council later gave him a job to hunt down Decepticons from the far outer corners of the galaxy. The femme handed over a datapad with names of higher-ranked Decepticons and places where they last been seen. A council member who introduced herself as Cyberwarp looked nervous before she spoke out what was weighing on her mind.

"Do you honestly think Decepticons can live peacefully on Cybertron alongside Autobots?" She said without any hint of bias in her voice.

"Yes, that is what I always wanted." There was a glimmer of hope in Cyberwarp optics. Optimus thought maybe the new council wasn't as bad as he thought. Maybe they might actually consider it.

**_____**

"We are the outcast Cyberwarp. Even if Optimus prime really does live up to his promises of Decepticons being here on Cybertron, we are the minority. Who can say that we will be treated correctly?" Cyclonus explained.

Cyberwarp tried to argue for Optimus Prime side, but she still had her own fears and worries of admitting the truth of being a Decepticon to the Autobot leader. So her mouth closed before she said anything.

"We'll await Megatron's return, gather Decepticons, then we can finally stop this hiding and take over Cybertron," Cyclonus reassured.  
 **_____**

Although the mission the council gave him was apparently urgent and needed to be resolved quickly, he didn't leave Cybertron just yet. Optimus went into the restored archives in Iacon. So much has changed around him, it was almost like home back then. Almost. 

Everything was still here, from the basis of the architecture, lack of cybertronians around, and the files on the shelves. Optimus thought maybe he was that was too different for this place now. 

Well, Optimus was never truly a Cybertronian who would fit in into any place. Even now. He only hid his awkwardness behind the matrix. Optimus quickly dismissed the memories of the war before it overwhelmed him.

He always found his own solace in datapads and stories. But Optimus just found himself reading the same lines over and over trying to immerse himself into the plot but his processor kept floating away with memories of his past. He couldn't exactly relax because he was filled with a curiosity he didn't want to have. So he took out a history datapad about what happened in the last days of the war, he just needed to find a lead of where Megatron was even though it was a lost cause trying to find information here.

He immediately shut the datapad when there was absolutely nothing written correctly in the text. Even the archives lacked the details, summarized Megatron disbandment from the Decepticons as simply his defeat, and said that Optimus himself exiled Megatron. Optimus can almost hear Alpha Trion's disappointment from the All spark. Something is terribly off about Cybertron, but he couldn't extend his stay any longer then it should be before suspicion arises from the council. 

Optimus was alone when he departed in his space ship to the outer parts of the galaxy, not trying to hunt down Decepticons as the council said but to find a lead to Megatron. He felt so conflicted and was still as lost on the day he received the matrix.

**_____**

Orion Pax went into hiding when the Decepticon movement started becoming violent, he often worked from the shadows and relocated and evacuated anyone who might become an innocent victim of the Decepticons uprising. Orion couldn't stand hearing and seeing any news of the people he couldn't save, because it was all his fault that people's lives were lost. It was all because he spoke out when he didn't need to at the council. Orion didn't want to exist, everything is his fault and he felt so much guilt. He didn't want to see Megatronus again, he was too weak to face the reality of seeing his lover and what he was becoming. 

Alpha Trion eventually found Orion during the later stage of the war and told him that he was the one to lead Cybertron to peace as he is the chosen one to become a prime. He refused, saying that this was not suited for him, that he wasn't a leader, and he was a coward. 

"You always had potential, don't discredit yourself when you saved all those citizens from an attack." Alpha Trion spoke. Orion could only remember that Megatronus said he was full of hidden talent that shouldn't go to waste. 

"You are the only one who can save Cybertron and if you hadn't noticed, you have created your own following as well. You inspired people to save other citizens."

When Alpha Trion led Orion to the heart of Cybertron, Orion still has uneasy feelings about officially becoming a prime. He asked Alpha Trion once more if he was fit to be a saviour to all, being a Prime to fight against the Decepticons.

"I am certain, this was always your fate."

With a deep breath, although fearful he was full of his own curiosity to see what lies in the centre of Cybertron. The door slid open to reveal a dark corridor that had a dimly lit glow near the end of the hall. He didn't look back when he walked inside.

The path eventually stopped, leading to a drop that led him down to what powered all of Cybertron. The glow seemed to be calling out to him.

And so Orion took a step and fell into the chasm without hesitation. His fall became lighter and soon he found himself floating in front of the core of Cybertron, or rather Primus as he found out.

"I can help you Orion Pax, I can hear your turmoil. What is it do you truly want?" A calm and soothing voice asked him. Primus radiated an energy that engulfs and made him feel slightly at ease. Like time stopped for this moment.

Orion took a while to think about what was best for everybody, he wanted them all safe. He said his wishes to Primus.

"I...I want to save everyone, I wish that I can handle the responsibility of being a prime..."

_I want my_ _pain_ _to stop._ A silent voice in his head said.

"It is not your fault that this war started but you must be the one to end it. Orion Pax, you must not give up on hope, Cybertron future and its people depends on you."

Orion felt Primus meant more then what he said about hope.

Primus gifted him the matrix of leadership, as Orion opened his spark chamber and placed the artifact inside he heard Primus voice speaking his new name, Optimus Prime. He felt Primus powers were fading due to the dark energon infecting him.

Primus's last words were that he'll be there to help him when he needs it, that he'll protect his spark.

All the pain from his guilt, sadness, and fear all melted away. The light from his chamber spread across his frame and became blinding. When Optimus Prime opened his optics, he devoted and was determined to save the people of Cybertron. That was his goal.  
 **_____**

Optimus accidentally found himself encountering the Decepticon that the council told him to catch. They both battled before Optimus quickly took down the Decepticon with stasis cuff.

"You're lucky that I'm not at my full strength!" The Decepticon said. On closer inspection, Optimus noticed that they were quite beaten up and were somewhat young.

"Who did this to you?" Optimus asked.

"Why, you want to challenge him too? Get even more power for yourself?!" The Decepticon sneered at Optimus.

"No, I just want to see if you're okay. Your processor can suffer heavily from a concussion long term. Hearing who did this can help me assess the damage." Optimus calmly spoke. He tried not to be awkward, "Perhaps you can lay down to see if there really is a processor ache." Optimus advised further.

The Decepticon looked blank for a moment and turned away from Optimus. They then laid down, "I don't think I have a concussion... why are you being so kind to me?"

"There's no need for violence." Kindness was simply a part of who Optimus was.

"...I don't know the name of who I fought but he is a sort of legend around these parts, a strong, mysterious, and undefeated being with a massive amount of power. He just knocked me out pretty easy."

"I'm sure you fought well." Optimus could tell that the person fighting the young bot wasn't using his full strength.

"Yeah right, the fight barely lasted at all." The Decepticon said with a scoff.

"Well, you are here. Being here is enough to prove your own strength."  
Optimus comforted.

The Decepticon was silent for a long while, they were contemplating something carefully by the look of their scowled face.  
"Can I tell you something?" They asked. Optimus nodded.

"I...been thinking about quitting the Decepticons. I kinda realized that I'm confused and...lost." The young Decepticon admitted with the same look that Cyberwarp gave Optimus when she asked him about Decepticons living peacefully on Cybertron.

"I think I just need someone to tell me what to do, I just don't know who I am." The bot said further. Hearing that sentence, Optimus emphasized with them.

"I can't tell you what to do. You must find that yourself." Optimus then released the stasis cuffs, to the Decepticon surprise. Optimus can't make anyone an Autobot or tell them that they are. The bot just needed time to think about what they wanted.

"But find yourself a hospital first in case there's a concussion. I saw a medical facility on the nearby planet." Optimus said. He then stood up to walk back to his ship but then he was interrupted by the Decepticon. "Wait! I just remembered something!"

Optimus turned around.

"The mech I fought, he is called by tron-something...I can't remember the whole thing." The bot spoke nervously.

Optimus might have has his lead to Megatron location.

"Thank you." He said before he parted on his own ship. Now the question is whether he should really pursue this lead.

**_____**

Megatron was somewhere in this part of the galaxy. Optimus already felt anxious just at the thought of seeing him again, fear of what might become of them if this loose strand became tied.

_Am_ _I_ _only chasing a memory of you?_

Optimus didn't know why he was still drawn to him after all those cycles, but he wasn't surprised. He hid away all this time. Always the coward and now he feel like he is just someone in another frame.

He sees why Megatron saw him so differently.

Optimus still felt so conflicted, so he layed back in his own chair and closed his optics. He took a deep breath as he opened that unopened memory file in his mind, the ultimatum on the decision to chase down Megatron.

The memories were of the time he became Orion Pax on the Nemesis. He saw the way Megatron looked at him so lovingly yet possessive. But there were also times where he was so gentle and Optimus felt the desire of Megatron wanting to stay with Orion forever, no war, no fighting, and just simply being in each other arms.

Although Megatron's wishes were surrounded by lies and loved the gullibility of his younger self. Optimus processor again was filled with questions.

_Did you only like_ _that_ _one part of me?_

Optimus searched through his own mind for reasons why he still cared for Megatron so much and never fell out of love.

He still had a nervous feeling overwhelming his entire frame. Another memory of them slow dancing on top of the deck of the Nemesis with their servos interlocked as they swayed gently to the slow song. Orion didn't take his adoring optics of Megatron and neither Megatron took his optics off of him too. 

_I was so happy. I thought you accepted me all this time because you loved me._ _But you really loved Orion pax._

All those peaceful times before he gained he memories back faded in to them both arguing with each other. He heard Megatron screaming that he made himself a tool with the matrix and he heard his own voice yelling that Megatron had loved that he was naive.

_You were right when you said that_ _I_ _made_ _myself_ _a weapon. I_ _couldn't_ _bear to fight anymore,_ _I_ _didn't_ _want_ _to_ _see what you had become. So_ _I_ _hid_ _myself_ _because_ _I_ _had to be strong for everyone._ _I'm_ _a coward._

Optimus recalled when Ratchet noticed how he wasn't acting like himself. Ratchet didn't say anything at first because he was becoming someone else too, but he was so fed up with Prime's stoicism so he yelled about how the matrix made him stuck up.

"You think being the matrix bearer and acting like some sort of general gives you the higher ground?!you aren't even my friend anymore!" Ratchet complained.

"I'm making the matrix block any unwanted emotions preventing me from making the right choice."  
Prime said since the matrix told him it was ok to tell the truth.

Ratchet had a look of confusion before he started shouting questions again with even more anger, "Why would you do this to yourself!? Unwanted emotions? You're erasing everything that you are! Why?!"

Optimus knew that only having a sincere conversation with Ratchet would make him listen. So he showed this part of himself to him.

"Because I can't do this anymore Ratchet. I don't want to fight anymore, but I have to." Optimus optics looked so defeated to Ratchet.

_It became_ _harder_ _to fight you everytime, it_ _became_ _harder_ _to see the lives you_ _and_ _I_ _took. I wanted to_ _disappear_ _._

_But_ _even_ _so,_ _I_ _was waiting,_ _I_ _was_ _hoping_ _that maybe_ _you'll_ _come back_ _and_ _understand._

_I_ _wonder_ _if you would still love me_.

Optimus opened his optics. Even opening up that memory gave him no direction on whether to give up on chasing Megatron or not. 

_I just need a proper reason to find you._ _It makes no sense to even see you in_ _the_ _first_ _place. I really don't get it. I don't get it at all._

There were so many voices of differing opinions and memories crowding in his processor. Optimus felt on edge as his servos were shaking and his spark ached.

_I'm_ _lost._

He was confused. Optimus felt scattered between Orion Pax and a prime. He wasn't sure how to act around to others anymore. He made himself a tool and now he was obsolete.

For the first time he finally cried in his current frame.

_Someone help me..._

A strange energy went through Optimus spark. It built up and a flash which showed him a vision of a familiar grey mech on a planet. It was almost similar to when he communicated with Bumblebee when he was with the thirteen primes. After the vision ended Optimus felt a pull from his own spark, leading him somewhere.  
 **_____**

Megatron sat still in the dark of space. The planet he stood on had quite a short cycle. The sun goes down for an hour, leaving him in darkness before coming back again.

It was quite eventful today, considering all he did was trying to keep away from anything that resembled a society. Soundwave tried to reach him over his communications. He chose not to respond, there was no use for him in this world. He exiled himself and he didn't deserve anything.

Megatron suddenly heard the sound of someone behind him. He assumed it was another challenger that come to fight.

When he turned around he thought he finally lost it. He was almost convinced it was another nightmare again.

He took a step back when he met optics with Optimus Prime.

"Have...have I gone mad?" Megatron spoke to himself. He waited for the illusion to start berating him.

Optimus shook his head.   
"This is real, I've been revived."

There was only a silence that drew out so long between them. Megatron didn't know where to start or what to say.

Optimus mustered up to answer a question that went unanswered all this time.

"I....when you said that you still loved me when I left your mind, I said that I am happy because I loved you too. I thought you hated me." All this time, Megatron assumed that Optimus hated him.

Megatron saw Optimus face as his optics were avoiding his in nervousness. He wasn't holding any of his emotions back.

Optimus opened his mouth again and asked a question that has been running rampant in his mind as he walked closer and stopped when Megatron was stepping backwards slowly.

Megatron didn't want prime to touch him because who would want to be near someone like him?

"I just need to know...that if you love me. Even if I'm not your Orion Pax."

"You are him, you always told me you were the same mech." Megatron said in confusion.

"I'm not sure anymore, I'm not sure who I am. There's no more matrix anymore either and you were right Megatron, about me being a weapon." Optimus had a sad look in his optics.

Megatron felt guilty, did he do this to Optimus? Made him feel like he wasn't himself? Made him cry? Confusing his own identity?

"I always loved you all this time, but you deserve someone better. Look at me, don't I look like a monster?" Megatron said with his own defeated laugh at himself.

"I don't care how you look." Optimus replied. Megatron looked fearful because he was afraid to touch him when Optimus stepped closer. Optimus felt hurt as he misunderstood Megatron actions.

"Optimus, I don't-"

"Is it because I'm not Orion?"

"...What are you saying? You are him!"

"No I'm not!" Optimus shouted in frustration. The crowded thoughts of him being an imposter bothered him to the point of getting a processor ache.

_You_ _aren't_ _Orion Pax, why are you_ _going_ _after_ _him?_

_You_ _aren't_ _Optimus Prime, a Prime would see there is no reason to even be here at all._

_Megatron_ _only_ _said he loved you because you are acting like Orion right now._

"You're not making any sense!" Megatron said in concerned tone.

"Nothing makes sense to me!"

As the pieces came together in Megatron head, the way from how lost Optimus looked showed him that he is absolutely on the edge of his mind and was extremely anxious.

"Optimus are you alright?"

"I don't know."

Optimus held his breath and said, "Please come back to Cybertron with me or... just tell me how you really think about me."

Megatron has many things to say to Optimus, he has been thinking about what to say to him all this time if someone was actually able to kill Megatron and somehow be meet Optimus in the allspark.

He didn't expect to see Optimus soon and in life too. All the words were stuck inside of him, swirling and completely illegible. Optimus was patient and waited for Megatron to collect his thoughts.

"...I'm sorry Optimus. For everything I've done to you." Megatron is relieved to finally say those words and not have his words drowned out like in those nightmares.

"I am honest when I said I never stopped loving you. Although my affection became violent and I can never forgive myself for that. Even now I realize that I still am hurting you although I am exiled."

"...Orion pax and Megatronus are only names we called ourselves back then. You are still the person I fell in love with, it was just that I didn't want to face the future of us. I didn't want conflict or arguments, just only the parts where you listened to me." That's how Megatron became infatuated with the naivety of Orion and separated the identity of Optimus prime.

"I love you Optimus, but I am scared of hurting you. A monster like me never deserves to even stand by you."

Megatron looked down at his servo, sharp claws that can tear through mechs so easily and large enough to crush someone head. Optimus then softly held Megatron servos, this is the first time they touched each other in a long while.

Megatron servos went limp in Optimus grasp as he placed the servo on the side of his face and leaned against it. He saw the tears stream down from Optimus optics and Megatron spark jumped when Optimus smiled so warmly at him.

"I...I love you Megatron." Optimus voice glitched a bit saying those words.

This is the first time Optimus smiled at Megatron in his own frame. Even after all this time, even though his smile was a sad one, it was still so precious.

After all those times of seeing Optimus cry but being unable to do anything, it felt like a fantasy to finally be able to physically be there to wipe the tears.

Megatron was still so afraid to touch Optimus but he couldn't help to embrace him. Optimus hugged back harder. They stayed like that for a long time, it felt so reassuring and comforting. Optimus noticed the scrambled voices in his processor quieted. Being hugged felt like his scattered self was being held together.

Suddenly Optimus pedes gave out and Megatron alarmed, caught him before he fell to the ground.

"Optimus?" Panic in Megatron voice obvious.

"It's fine, I'm just...tired." The adrenaline from Optimus frame finally gave up and he realized just how exhausted he was.

Megatron recognized the tired look in his drifting gaze.   
"You overworked fool. How long were you searching for me? When did you last recharge?"

The silence from Optimus gave him the answer. So Megatron sat down and layed Optimus head in his own lap.

"Rest now." Megatron said, not taking chances of Optimus being harmed.

"No." a tired Optimus said.

"Why?"

"...Im scared. What if I wake up and you're not there?" Megatron understood completely what Optimus felt.

"Then hold my servo." Megatron said. Optimus then reached out his servos to intertwine with his.

"Don't let it go." Optimus asked him.

"I won't." Megatron replied. Optimus smiled and Megatron watched as he drifted off to recharge.

Megatron looked at him, already deep into resting and looking so peaceful with Optimus servo still in a firm grip around his own giant clawed servo. Even with both of their frame changed and reformed, Megatron was still larger then Optimus.

Megatron thought about kissing him but thought otherwise when he reminded himself of what he was. He was fine just being here with Optimus. He didn't even deserve to be in contact with him in the first place.

Megatron simply waited until Optimus and thought to himself about returning back to cybertron. He didn't have a place back there, what will he do? Will all of the autobots simply arrest him? What did Soundwave want from Megatron? He feared what awaited him on his return back to his planet.

He watched as the sun was slowly rising on this planet. This sunrise seemed so different from all the others despite seeing this sunrise many times on this. Perhaps it because Optimus was here, he always manages to make the sky such an interesting thing.

Just being here with Optimus right next to him gave him a feeling that everything will be alright. Even though he didn't know what his future was.

Optimus groaned and moved a bit from the sunlight reaching his face.

"How long did I sleep for?"

"Only a mega cycle. Rest more."

"I'm fine, I feel better." Optimus tried to move up but Megatron held him down.

"I doubt that." Megatron was not taking any chances of Optimus being a nervous wreck whenever due to a lack of sleep. It wasn't his first time. Optimus stopped his struggling and said, "Can you take me to my ship? The sun makes it a bit hard to go into recharge. "

Without hesitation Megatron lifted and carried Optimus in his own arms. Optimus did not expect to be held in such a way, got flustered and apologized to Megatron.

"I don't have a problem carrying you." Except for the fear of accidentally harming Optimus. But taking care of Optimus was Megatron top priority currently.

Optimus then told the location of his ship was and Megatron started his walk as the both of them were in a comfortable silence.

"Optimus, you should rest more." Megatron noticed how he Optimus was stuck in his own thoughts instead of growing tired again.

"I'm fine, I just want to be awake. My processor is being more rational for me now."

"...Why did you think that you weren't Orion Pax?"

Optimus looked off in the distance, recalling his anxiety and panic.  
"Because when I was in your processor my image was my younger self, after the battle with Unicron I was reverted back to my young frame, and now the matrix is gone from my spark chamber but nothing changed. It made me think about maybe along with the matrix maybe he was gone since I didn't change.  
All that's left is someone pretending to be a prime."

"You're overthinking it."

"I know. Having no recharge didn't help my fears either."

"Why didn't you recharge in the first place?"

"Because I couldn't, you were here somewhere. I needed to know my answer."

Megatron sighed, "how did you even track me down?"

"I had a vision and I chased a feeling in my spark."

"You went after me without the help of the matrix? how is that even possible?"

Optimus smiled as he remembered a book he once read and spoke out the quote, "There is a force that binds us that defies life and death. The desire to meet someone you hold dearly made that pull prevail."

"You didn't have to put your health on the line to find me. I'm not going anywhere, I've been waiting for you for a long time and I will wait even longer."

Megatron finally arrived at the ship and entered to place the sleeping mech in his own berth. Optimus was already hit with another wave of tiredness.

Optimus didn't want Megatron to stop holding him so he asked him to hold his servos while he slept again. This time the both of them went into recharge. No nightmares this time, only the comforting feeling of reassurance.   
**_____**

When they both arrived back to Cybertron everyone stared in fear at the mech who stood beside Optimus prime. They both held hands before entering the council room. History has repeated once again as they headed into the meeting but this time it was different. 

"Everything will be alright." A nervous Optimus whispered to himself.

"I believe you." Megatron replied and noticed how Optimus grip became more firm.

Apparently no one recognized Megatron but Megatron did recognize the cybertronians who were the members of the so-called Autobot council. 

"I did not expect to see you here Cyclonus." Megatron said. 

"You know him?" Optimus asked in surprise.

Cyclonus was confused at first. he never met him before but once everything started clicking into place and saw the resemblance to the Decepticon leader, he immediately shut off the electronic paint along with all the other members and revealed themselves as they kneeled down in front of Megatron.

"We were waiting for your return Megatron, we took over Cybertron secretly and amassed as much Decepticons to take down the Autobots. It is your call to start the invasion." Cyclonus said. Optimus had finally realized what was the reason behind the council's shady actions. 

"Call it off." Megatron said.

"W-what?" The now revealed Decepticons were shocked. They had been planning this since the rebuilding of Cybertron.

"There's no need for another faction war." Megatron has already seen what kind of consequence that action led too. He was tired, he didn't want to fight again.

"The Autobots will put us all in prison or exile us like you!" One of them explained.

"I exiled myself. I thought I was too dangerous to come back and live on Cybertron." Megatron said.

"I won't put any of you in prison if that's what you're afraid of. As long as there's peace, then Cybertron will always be home for anyone." Optimus added in.

"You might accept us Optimus but what about the others? What about other Autobots who might treat us differently?" Cyberwarp asked.

"I've seen many who had a change of spark and many who are lost or simply misunderstood. There are also many Autobots who are happy to have new friends." Optimus saw that hopeful look in Cyberwarp optics again. Although Cyclonus was still baffled and conflicted about not putting the plan to work after all such a long time.

"The Decepticon movement was originally meant to take down the original council on Cybertron as they discriminated Cybertronians amongst each other and only desired to further put themselves in power above all. Although the Decepticon movement was violent and slowly became the very thing I fought against and despise. Now, will you listen or repeat the very same mistakes I made and was so close to not being able to fix?" Megatron said to Cyclonus. Cyclonus listened and called off his invasion plan.

**_____**

This time Optimus and Megatron were able to take down the council peacefully and fully reform a Cybertron that both Autobots and Decepticon were able to live together as most went factionless. Optimus, to everyone surprise, took off his own Autobot badge and would give up his position of ruling over Cybertron after he was done with the amount of paperwork he had. He went on to change the Cybertron school curriculum and become a teacher for young sparklings, he was also considering starting his own academy. Although he was preoccupied with fixing inaccurate information at the archives.

Megatron finally responded to Soundwave signal and Optimus followed along to earth, where they found Bumblebee's team stuck in the shadow zone and Soundwave has taken over their base. Bumblebee was in the middle of his own plan to get out but seeing Optimus and Megatron completely threw him off track. 

When Soundwave spotted Optimus his first instinct was to attack. Soundwave tentacles were close to injuring Optimus but stopped when Megatron put a servo out to protect him. Soundwave recognized the nervousness that appeared on Optimus face and the fact that he didn't have his own badge confused him.

"Orion Pax?" Soundwave spoke. Both Megatron and Optimus were surprised.

"I..am called Optimus now. It's nice to see you again." Soundwave retracted his attack. Soundwave was loyal to Megatron, so after Megatron explaining the situation on Cybertron and Decepticons, Soundwave stopped fighting and transported Bumblebee, Sideswipe, Strongarm, and Grimlock back from the shadow zone. Soundwave went back to Cybertron with Optimus and Megatron.

It was going to take Cybertron a while to adjust to the influx of reformed Decepticons and new systems. 

**_____**

Optimus was sitting on the roof of the archives since it helped him concentrate, he spent most of his time doing paperwork and reviewing over history datapads. A sound of a door opening alerted him to someone's arrival. His optics looked up and saw his lover.

"Megatron." Optimus greeted him warmly.

"How are you doing? I hope you aren't overworking again." Megatron said.

"I'm alright, still worried about doing those speeches about me stepping down from being a prime."

"Why?"

"Doesn't seem like me to just go up there and do any of those anymore."

"Well, you have always been the one to do things you never wanted to." Megatron kept Optimus grounded and away from any of his own fears of the future. Optimus started to feel like Cybertron was his home now as he hugged Megatron. Optimus leaned in closer to him but Megatron looked a bit hesitant as he looked away.

"Are you sure you want this?" Megatron asked, still feeling undeserving of how easy it's been for him recently, except for the nightmares reminding him of all the horrible things he has done.

"Yes. Because I still love you after all this time." Optimus was always there for Megatron whenever his guilt got the better of him or memories from dying haunted him. 

Optimus kissed Megatron. It was the first time in Optimus own frame that they have done this and what a coincidence how it's in the same place where they first had their first kiss.


End file.
